he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
