are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
