Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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