I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
