my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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