if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
