Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
