So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
