Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
