Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
