How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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