What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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