i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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