I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
