One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
