bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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