smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
