where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
