I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
