that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
