Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
