I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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