THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
