I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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