Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i now understand why vodka
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
