Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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