You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
