You work out of a Hotel?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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