Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
