I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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