also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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