My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
