Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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