That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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