so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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