I feel like abortions should bother me more
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dear god my vagina.
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