Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
