I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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