Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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