First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
