the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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