I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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