I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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