she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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