butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
