Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i think i just lost a toe
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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