So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
