I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
