from now on my penis is your penis
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
