he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
