We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize