Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize