It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need water and some morals
Randomize
