real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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