Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
