3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
