first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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