We're like a lot better than the average bears
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
