I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize