i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
