just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize